I’m doing well. Really well. Abilify has changed my life.
I emptied the dishwasher recently without giving myself a pep talk first. I’m wearing make-up again- and not as a part of my façade. I actually wanted to put it on.
Things are still difficult during the day at times, but I’m really doing a lot better. I started crafting again. Crafting because its fun and I enjoy it. Not because I felt OBLIGATED to do it.
I cleaned my scrapbook room. I don’t think you’ve been able to walk into it/see the floor in FOUR YEARS. It was just too overwhelming to even consider starting the process of cleaning it.
My counselor exclaimed that she sees real improvements. She noticed I was wearing jewelry.
All these pieces of myself that were lost, seem to be reappearing. I’m so relieved. I was terrified that I would be lost forever. Truthfully, I didn’t really notice that so much of myself had disappeared. Depression is one hell of a thief. It just chips away at you until you’re a shell of who you were, and the worst part is, you know something is missing, but the gravity of all the parts that are missing is lost on you. Or you notice, and don’t care. Because you can’t.
I have a follow up appointment with the psychiatrist on the 16th. I’m not sure if he’ll increase the Abilify or not, but I’m looking forward to telling him how well I’m doing.
If you’re reading this, hang in there. There’s hope. You can do this. Keep fighting.